🥑 Read Food Labels like a Pro

You ever read a food label and feel like you're deciphering ancient runes? Don't worry, Indiana Jones. We’re about to decode the secret language of processed food sorcery.

Am I Reading a Foreign Language?

Food labels were supposed to help us… but somehow they turned into a CIA briefing.

Here’s the truth: real food doesn’t need a label. Broccoli has one ingredient: broccoli. Chicken breast? Chicken. Dates? You get the idea.

The more ingredients a label has, and the harder they are to pronounce, the more likely it’s been cooked up by a food scientist wearing goggles.

Let’s dig in.

How to Read the Nutrition Facts Label

• Calories – Shows energy per serving; just remember, 200 calories of salmon isn’t the same as 200 calories of cookies.

• Serving Size – This is where the sneaky math lives. If a serving says ½ cup and you eat 1 cup, double everything on the label.

• Macros & Key Nutrients –
  • Total Fat – Includes saturated and sometimes trans fats. Avoid trans, limit saturated if it’s from processed junk.
  • Cholesterol – Fine for most people unless your doc says otherwise.
  • Sodium – Under 300mg per serving is best. Too much = bloating and blood pressure spikes.
  • Total Carbs – Includes fiber (good, aim for 3–5g+) and added sugars (bad, limit these).
  • Protein – Go high. Helps with energy, fullness, and muscle.
  • Micronutrients – Look for Vitamin D, Calcium, Iron, Potassium. Check the %DV to see if it’s meaningful.

• % Daily Value – Tells you what % of your daily recommended amount of each nutrient you're getting per serving.
  Rules of thumb:

  • 5% DV or less = low

  • 20% DV or more = high

  Go high in fiber, protein, vitamins, and minerals.
  Go low in sodium, added sugar, saturated fat.
  Remember: these are based on a 2,000 calorie diet; adjust if you eat more or less.

• Ingredient List – Listed by weight, so what's first matters most. If the first few ingredients are sugar, corn syrup, or seed oils… you’ve got a snack in disguise.

  • Fewer is better (aim for under 5–10 ingredients if possible)
  • Recognizable is better (if it sounds like a chemistry final, skip it)

Doctor Mike: 10 Misleading Nutritional Labels (4 mins 40 secs)

Ingredient List Red Flags

Most of these ingredients won’t kill you on the spot. They’re just ultra-addictive, low in nutrition, and designed to make you overeat without even realizing it.

Here are some troublemakers hiding in plain sight:

🍬 Added Sugars
Also called: High fructose corn syrup, cane sugar, maltodextrin, agave, dextrose
Why it’s used: Sweetens and preserves
Why it’s bad: Spikes blood sugar, fuels fat gain, accelerates aging

🧪 Artificial Flavors & Colors
Also called: Red 40, Yellow 5, “natural flavors”
Why it’s used: Fakes flavor and color
Why it’s bad: Linked to hyperactivity, allergies, and gut issues

🛢️ Vegetable/Seed Oils
Also called: Soybean, canola, corn, sunflower, safflower
Why it’s used: Cheap, long shelf life
Why it’s bad: High in omega-6s, causes inflammation when heated

🧂 Preservatives & Stabilizers
Also called: BHA, BHT, sodium benzoate, carrageenan, xanthan gum
Why it’s used: Extends shelf life and texture
Why it’s bad: Linked to gut irritation, hormone disruption, and immune stress

🧼 Emulsifiers & Thickeners
Also called: Lecithins, gums, mono- & diglycerides
Why it’s used: Blends ingredients smoothly
Why it’s bad: May disrupt gut lining and microbiome over time

🧲 MSG & Flavor Enhancers
Also called: Monosodium glutamate, yeast extract, disodium inosinate
Why it’s used: Boosts flavor intensity
Why it’s bad: Can trigger headaches, cravings, and bloating in sensitive people

Also, review EWG’s Dirty Dozen Guide to Food Chemicals: The Top 12 to Avoid

🔧 Practical Advice

Want to make better food choices without turning every grocery run into a 3-hour research project?

• Shop the perimeter of the store (produce, meat, dairy = less labels, more nutrients)

• Use the 5-ingredient rule: More than 5 = proceed with caution

• Google the weird stuff: If you don’t know it, your body probably doesn’t either

• Don’t be duped by “natural” or “healthy”: always check the label

🧠 Final Thoughts

Not every bite has to be a health move. Some things, like hot sauce or that nostalgic snack from aisle 12, you enjoy just for the hell of it. And that’s totally fine.

Indulge from time to time, just do it with awareness. As long as it doesn’t set off a domino effect of bad decisions (been there), it’s part of a sustainable, real-life approach to health.

Last weeks newsletter: 🥑Breath Better, Stress Less

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